Ep 62: Stop the Press! A Message from Effy and Jacqueline

Art by @alvarocastrodesign

Hey, Effy Blue & Jacqueline Misla here.

We know that you were expecting an episode about how trust and integrity can be rebuilt after someone cheats, and if or how non-monogamy can be successful after an affair erodes away trust. And that’s what we’re working on, as a part two of our episode on infidelity.

However, we found ourselves at a juncture that we weren’t prepared for. Here is the thing about doing this very personal work we get to do at Curious Fox and on this podcast. At every turn we find ourselves reflecting on our own experiences having gained a new insight or a new piece of wisdom. We’ve told these stories of transgression a million times. In interviews, on stage, on Facebook, or on Instagram lives as a well-rehearsed and neat narrative. In reality, our experiences were so much messier than that.

For each episode, we get to listen to the recording several times; between the raw recording and the final edit that you get to hear. It’s a process we’re still learning. It requires us listening with a bunch of different ears. Some are just technical things like audio quality or background noise, others are making sure what we say makes sense for the cohesive narrative, and other times it’s about taking ourselves out of the situation and trying to listen as if we are hearing it for the first time to see how it resonates.

As we listened to the last episode over and over again we realized this neat, manicured version of these stories didn’t quite reflect the whole truth. In some parts, they glossed over the mess and offered neat conclusions and explanations. In others, it left out information that didn’t give a full picture of our role in it all.

In the spirit of trying to create an episode that was valuable and intimate, and also Podcast ready by being short and succinct, we told our stories in a way that felt a little too sanitized. We’re both so used to talking about these times in our lives, it didn’t hit us until listening to the episode afterward that there was just so much more to say.

These moments in our lives were deeply significant and changed our life trajectory. And so we wanted the opportunity to try again. So here’s what we’re going to do:

We’re going to take a week to dig deeper into ourselves and our stories and re-share them with you from an authentic place, one at a time. The real and raw stories of a person who cheated and the person who was cheated on are simultaneously personal and universal and we need more time to sit in those stories. Not just as educators and podcast hosts but as people.

We feel like we owe it to you and to ourselves, so stay tuned for part 2 and part 3 over the next couple of weeks.

Thank you for being on this journey with us and, as always, stay curious friends.

To find more about Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla, follow them at @wearecuriousfoxes, @coacheffyblue, and @jacquelinemisla on Instagram.

If you have a question that you would like to explore on the show, reach out to us, and we may answer your question on one of our upcoming episodes. Leave us a voicemail at 201-870-0063, send us a voice memo or email us at listening@wearecuriousfoxes.com.

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